Under Too Long - Introduction and Chapter 1

Bombs, Drugs, Untaxed Alcohol, Terrorism, and the Undercover Agents Who Brought It All Down.

Note to the reader: This is the full text of Chapter 1 of Under Too Long by Billy the Liquor Guy. Looking for the audiobook? Find it at Audible, Amazon, iTunes, and it’s free to listen to on all major podcast channels. Looking for the paperback, hardcover, or ebook? Find it at https://geniusbookpublishing.com/collections/billy-the-liquor-guy (you can also own the audiobook there). And of course, you can read (some of, and in the future, all of) the book here on Substack.

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Copyright © 2020 William Soldato

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Introduction

“Who's the guy that just intercepted the bar?” the New York State Attorney General inquired.

It was late, 3 a.m. to be exact, and the General was annoyed. Within minutes of exiting a bar his team had spent months trying to intercept, he’d gotten word of my license plate and car make. And, when those numbers came up as an operating vehicle for the Petroleum, Tobacco and Alcohol Bureau, he went straight to my superior.

“It’s Billy,” Staton, the Director of my unit, replied. “Best undercover we’ve got.”

“I want to meet him,” the General instructed. “Have him to my office by morning. I want to meet the agent that’s infringing on my team.”

Infringing was an ironic choice of words since I’d been in the bar to complete a liquor buy--and a measly buy at that. The bar had been so run down and lackadaisical with liquor purchases that my partner, Tony and I had written it off as a waste of time. To say that we thought there was any suspicious activity going on inside was a stretch. But the New York State Attorney General was interested, so whatever he was looking for must be good.

I glanced at the clock, which now read 6 a.m.

“How early you want us there?” I asked, my body exhausted from the late evening my crew and I had pulled.

“I’d like you here before 10,” Staton said. “We’ll work out the details on the drive over.”

“I’ll call Tony and arrange it,” I said, wiping the sleep from my eyes. I wasn’t ready to start my day, but curiosity had me on my feet and ready to go.

“Billy,” Staton said before we hung up, “let’s keep this under wraps until we know what’s going on. Got it?”

“Got it, boss,” I said and hung up, dialing Tony seconds later.

Whether we were ready or not our undercover careers were about to be put into overdrive. Keeping it under wraps was just a momentary diversion. Soon enough, we’d have over 10 agencies, like the FBI, the United States Military and ATF, assisting us to take down bombs, drugs, untaxed liquor and a multi-terrorist unit. And it all stemmed from my ability to transform, relate and bullshit with degenerates at any given time.

Chapter One

ATTORNEY GENERAL

Tony and I reached Staton’s office five minutes after his recommended time.

“You two are late,” Staton said, looking directly at Tony.

I could see the heat spread across Tony’s face. I felt bad for him in a way. He was a timely guy, built on schedules and factoids. I, meanwhile, required an extra stop for coffee and a breakfast bagel from my favorite spot in Troy.

I could feel Staton’s eyes on me. I had on my day to day wears: wind pants, sneakers and a wrinkly t-shirt.

“You couldn’t run an iron over your shirt, at least?” Staton said, shaking his head.

He wasn’t one for fashion, either. However, today he sported a crisp white shirt and black dress pants.

“What do you want from me?” I mumbled. “You woke me up at 6 a.m. I didn’t have time to go shopping. And no one told me they were dressing up!”

Staton shook his head and let out an aggravated sigh.

“Tony, thank you for dressing respectable,” he stated.

“See, there you go. You’ve got one well-dressed guy on the team.” I smiled.

Staton mumbled something and pulled a file from his briefcase.

“Okay, boys. Here’s what I’ve got,” Staton said, leaning forward. “The governor created a task force designed to shut down a drug distribution ring throughout New York State. His task force is huge, but from what I can tell they haven’t been able to find the link in the Southern Tier area. Somehow, you two have stepped into something they’ve been trying to uncover. This can be a win win, for you, the state, and the Attorney General--if you get this one right.”

Staton prepped us with facts, names, and requirements as we headed to the state office building in Albany, or the Ivory Tower as I liked to call it.

As we walked through the sterile hallways, glares from suits passed my way.

“They probably think you’re our criminal.” Tony laughed.

“Maybe I should have tied my sneakers before I got out of the car.”

Tony looked down at my laces, which were flopping with each step I took, and sighed. Before Staton could scold me, two gentlemen, both sporting black business suits and sharp ties, stepped in front of us.

“Mr. Staton,” they said, their hands extended.

Staton, who knew both individuals by name, shook their hands and introduced us.

“It’s a pleasure,” the gentleman introduced as San said, shaking my hand. “We heard about you breaking into Soft Tail like it was your home base. Kudos on a job well done. That’s one bar we’ve yet to get into.”

Soft Tail was a low-grade bar that seemed easy to infiltrate, so the acknowledgement took me off guard. Yet, by the time I was introduced to Bloom, San’s back-up, who excitedly praised my work as well, my ego was swimming. It was a great decoy, since once we made our way into the Attorney General’s office my body seemed to trip over itself.

“So, this is what my team was up against?” the Attorney General smirked, gesturing to my outfit. “I must have really picked from the bottom of the barrel, huh.”

His jab put me at ease. He was a ball buster, just like any other guy.

Along with Staton, Tony, San, Bloom and the General was the head of the Narcotics Task Force.

“Some of the bars we’ve found you in have been heavily involved with the Narcotics Task Force for some time,” the General said as we all took a seat around the oval table in his office. “They’ve had everyone from the State Police to local law enforcement trying to get in. All unsuccessfully. As I am sure your director has informed you, the Governor has been adamant about uncovering and stopping drug traffic across the state. What you may not be aware of are the high volume of drugs that run through the Southern Tier of New York. Drugs are coming into NYC through various points, which we’re working on, and then following a line straight into Elmira--a major distribution point for the rest of New York State and Pennsylvania. We believe one of the bars you landed yourself into is part of the wheelhouse in this operation.”

San went on to discuss the dispatches they’d set across points in Binghamton, Syracuse, Rochester, and various towns that border Pennsylvania. It was clear the Attorney General was desperate to break down the distributions, and San and Bloom were responsible for making sure that happened.

The head of Narcotics broke down the patrons they’d been pursuing, particularly those who frequented Soft Tail. As he flashed pictures across his PowerPoint screen, he stopped to display a shot of me, dressed in sweatpants and a dirty t-shirt, talking with the Jamaicans we’d encountered the evening prior. These guys were said to be relevant drug dealers and extremely dangerous. The smiling one I’d warmed up to was the leader.

Tony’s mouth was hanging open and he was whiter than I’d ever seen.

“We want to assign you on the case with us,” the head of narcotics said, displaying more pictures of Tony and me outside Soft Tail and The Thirsty Bear. I’ll admit we did appear to look buddy buddy with Nash and the Jamaicans. There was even a shot of Tony cleaning broken liquor bottles out of the van. Staton eyed us about that picture. I guess we’d forgotten to tell him about that one.

“Billy, we have to ask,” San said, leaning forward, “how the hell did you get to be so friendly with these guys so quick? You’re in there laughing like you’re long lost friends.”

“Gentlemen I don’t know,” I said, putting my hands up in defense. “I think so many people have referred to me as a low-life degenerate all my life that I’m actually not pretending to be one anymore.”

“I don’t buy it for one minute,” San said. “You seem to be in the right place at the right time, and we don’t think that’s by chance. You’re a lot smarter than you’re playing it.”

“Look guys, I can’t say that I’m not impressed by all of this,” I said, looking around. “But we’ve just been selling untaxed liquor and cigarettes. From what you’re telling me, there’s a major drug operation going on that we weren’t even aware of. That’s not our area of expertise, so anything we’ve stumbled upon happened on dumb luck”

“Again, we have to respectfully disagree,” Bloom replied. “You’re forging relationships with owners who trust you, and that’s what we need to get inside. We need someone they feel comfortable with and trust enough to bring us in.”

“And you think that’s something Tony and I can do?” I questioned, even though deep down I knew damn well we could.”

“That’s why we’ve asked you here,” the General replied. “We need your help.”

“That’s something you’re going to have to speak with my director about,” I said, looking at Staton. “My loyalty is with my unit and with the operation we’ve been successfully building.”

The General highlighted the respect our agency would hold with the Governor, the Narcotics Unit and his own office, should Tony and I assist them. He spoke about advanced video and sound equipment that they’d yet to grant any other agency, additional manpower, vehicles and a handsome raise. It was hard not to be impressed.

“Before we proceed, I have to be clear that his first alliance would remain with his agency,” Staton said. “As hard as you guys have worked to crack this case, we’ve worked just as hard to crack ours, and we’re close.”

“That sounds reasonable,” the General responded.

“I’d also like to be able to keep my original crew,” I stated. “You said more manpower, which is great, but the guys I’ve been working with have busted their ass with me from the start. We have a good rapport with each other. That’s how we’ve gotten as far as we have. I won’t come without them.”

“Again, that doesn’t seem like a problem,” the General said, though I watched the head of Narcotics slump back in his chair.

San tossed a key fob across the table.

“The mic is inside. We can track your audio, location, and deliver video surveillance without raising suspicion with this.”

I glanced at Staton who smiled in approval. Until now I’d been hiding a wire in a beeper. Imaging having to explain why you wore a beeper into today’s day and age to a group of bad guys.

“We want to start working with you as soon as possible. We can have cars and equipment to you within a day,” Bloom said.

“If my partner and I do agree to sign on, we’ll also need agreements to the terms of our schedule. We run a consistent itinerary so people know when to expect us. That makes them feel safe.”

“We were hoping to have you back in Soft Tail in a few days. While the fire is still hot, so to speak,” San said.

“You can hope for whatever you like, but I won’t be going back to Soft Tail or Thirsty Bear until next week. If I begin pushing in or looking eager it can raise questions and we’ve worked too hard to jeopardize that for our agency.”

The General and the rest of his crew weren’t happy, but they knew that for the mission to be effective they had no choice other than to adhere to what I wanted. And what I wanted was to wait.

“I respect your discipline, Billy,” the General said, rising from his seat and extending his hand. “I have no doubt it will all be worthwhile.”

The General excused himself, leaving San and the head of narcotics to finalize vehicle and equipment arrangements.

“Off the record,” the head of narcotics said as we prepared to depart, “how the hell did you look at the guy from Soft Tail with a straight face? Kid looks like the fucking Elephant Man.”

“I chose one eye and focused on that.” I smiled. “I didn’t dare let my eyes wander anywhere other than that eye for fear it would throw me off.”

“Well the real bad asses in that bar are the Jamaicans, not your Elephant Man. They control that bar. It’s a thick crowd, so be careful.”

***

“We’re fucking working for the New York Attorney General!” Tony screamed as we pulled out of the garage. “The New York fucking Attorney General!”

A smile plastered across Tony’s face acted as a mirror for mine.

“I can’t fucking believe we just sat with the fucking head of narcotics asking us for help!” I laughed.

“Can you imagine the look on their faces when they saw you walking out of the bar with these guys? They must have been shitting their pants!” Tony laughed.

“I guess looking like a slob is a good look for me after all, Staton!” I joked.

“And I knew those Jamaicans were up to no good!” Tony continued. “I almost shit myself when he pulled their faces up on the screen.”

“I guess no good depends on which side of the fence you’re standing on, because their no good just got us into the Attorney Fucking General’s office!”

Tony and I laughed and rehashed the whole meeting while Staton quietly sat back, taking in our excitement. Though he didn’t join in on our stories, his smile was just as large.

“This can be huge for you guys,” he said after we’d toned down. “The equipment they have and the unlimited vehicles are crazy, but it’s something you need to talk to your family about. Take a night and make sure you’re comfortable with this. You’re talking drugs and gangs here, so it can become very dangerous and extensive.”

I could taste the opportunity on my tongue. Regardless of what my family had to say, I was in.

I spent the rest of the drive home going over the past 24 hours in my head. Almost overnight I went from slumming cigarettes in a back parking lot to receiving a job proposal from the General’s office. Thoughts and scenarios swirled through my head, and in what seemed like minutes rather than hours, I pulled into the driveway of my home.

I never said a word to my family.